Let's start where my writing got crippled...remember this?

Somewhere, someone in Denver has a fantastic read.  I, on the other hand, have lost about 4 years of my emotional life.  My husband and I recently took a trip for our 10^th anniversary - the first time we have been away on a trip like this since our wedding.  Naturally, me being an avid writer, the first things I set out for the trip were my notebook (everyday stuff, ideas for the blog, to-do lists, etc.), the novel I was currently reading, my family journal (not to be confused with the 2 I keep for my youngest children-my oldest inherits all my journals), and my dream journal - reserved for dreams only, jotted down in no particular date order.

After arriving in Denver, the one evening I took out my journal because I wanted to record two things the kids said that were cute.  Norah, my 4 year old, said to me "look at these feet Mom.  They look like the feet of a 4 year old!"  I also wrote down something awesome Pacey, my 5 year old, carefully relayed to me.  I can't recall what it was though, and now I will never get it back.   I left my journal in the hotel room somehow (even after a scan of the entire room) and it has not been returned, found, replaced, anything.  I am absolutely crushed.

There are two things that disappoint me tremendously in my life.  The first is that I will never know about my own childhood.  The funny things I said, the crazy things I did, the way I empathized with others, the awful things I did, or how I got along with my father, who died suddenly of a brain aneurysm when I was just five years old.  The second disappointment is that I didn't get to share life with my mother after I became a mother.  Like many other mothers, I had no idea what life was all about until I had kids.  Only then did I start to wonder about my experiences as a child, and more importantly wonder about my mom's experiences as my mother.  I prayed that my mom left a long letter for me when she died at the age of 58, succumbing to the ferocious pancreatic cancer.  But my mom wasn't a writer.  I once found a journal she started after I moved away from home (I was the youngest, and the last to leave).  There were 2 entries, each one sentence long.

But I am a writer.  So my gift to my children is to always keep a record of their lives.  Nothing big, nothing even consistent, but something.   I try not to put pressure on myself because I think that makes a journal less genuine, the entries not as warm and spontaneous.  Inside my lost journal are the struggles as a family that desperately misses maternal grandparents.  Inside my lost journal are my struggles to keep it together when I really wanted to just give up.  Inside my lost journal are the funny things my children said in the most formative years of their lives, the profound ways they care for each other, and the surprising ways they have cared for me when I needed it most.  Inside my lost journal are many conversations I had with my mom, if only on pen and paper.  Inside my lost journal are many "Goodnight Mom, I love you and I miss you."

Why would somebody want to keep another person's journal?  Surely you can enjoy the read and return it?  Definitely the most saddening Gap of all.

Umm...hello?

Ever wonder where time has gone? In my case, almost a year?  I say there's no gap that can't be bridged.  What the heck, I have a PVR so there's really no excuse for not writing.  Although I still am scarred from losing my journal last year.  It doesn't cripple me, but I do wonder who the heck has my life out there. 

I need a little creativity in my life among the craziness.  As much as I love watching hockey, ringette, swimming, and the kids beating the tar out of each other, I need an outlet other than leftover halloween candy and repeats of all things Adam Levine.  Something that reminds me I have funny thoughts to offer, laughter to spread, and words that mean something. 

I'm fresh out of funny right now though so I'll have to start anew.  Talk to you soon.

Why the gap?
Committment issues.

Uh...The Gap has been a little lengthy...

Embarrassing.  Really embarrassing.  December 7^th is more than a week ago to say the least.  But to be honest, I'm still reeling from the loss of my journal.  I almost can't pick up the lovely personalized new one my wonderful friend gave me for Christmas.  It's like I am so scared of losing it that I don't want to risk such a hard loss again - like a bad break up that totally blindsided me. 

Anyway, there has been so much contemplation on my mind as of late that my head is just bursting at the root. As I reviewed my career quest of learning all things social media with one of my friends recently, she told me something I believe she has told me many, many times.  You need to write Carole.  You need to write about you, and your funny stories about raising kids, all the trials and tribulations and the embarrassing moments.  Write whatever you want, as long as it is about your life.  I think she may be my muse, or at least my 'kick-me-in-the-pants-get-your-arse-in-gear-and-do-what-you-love' person  (I hope I offer her that same wonderful encouragement in return).  Writing about what I know is easy.  Writing about what I am trying to learn makes me want to bawl.  I have struggled with The Gap purely because all the social media possibilities are just daunting.

Do you ever wonder if The Gap is too overwhelming to tackle?  Like maybe you should just stick to what you know?  As a Mom, I have Gaps in my career for every maternity leave.  I have Gaps in my career because it was best for my family.  I have Gaps in my career because my husband travels for work and the kids go in all different directions on a regular basis.  I have Gaps because I wasn't willing to hire a Nanny.  I'm working hard to close that Gap, but at times feel like the forces are against me.  These days, companies receive endless supplies of resumes all pumped up with key words, creative phrases, and dazzling skills.  Phoning the HR departments and hiring manager is frowned upon (with good reason).  How does one stand out?  How does one convey that she is awesome at what she does?  The Gap, social media......there's a connection in there.  My learning curve of social media will likely turn out to be my closure of The Gap.  I'll let you know.

Why The Gap?  Babies, family, home cooked meals, and determining who will be the lucky company that gets me :)



ah.....worth every moment of The Gap.

Remember this? A different kind of Gap now. Give me my emotions back...please.

Somewhere, someone in Denver has a fantastic read.  I, on the other hand, have lost about 4 years of my emotional life.  My husband and I recently took a trip for our 10^th anniversary - the first time we have been away on a trip like this since our wedding.  Naturally, me being an avid writer, the first things I set out for the trip were my notebook (everyday stuff, ideas for the blog, to-do lists, etc.), the novel I was currently reading, my family journal (not to be confused with the 2 I keep for my youngest children-my oldest inherits all my journals), and my dream journal - reserved for dreams only, jotted down in no particular date order.

After arriving in Denver, the one evening I took out my journal because I wanted to record two things the kids said that were cute.  Norah, my 4 year old, said to me "look at these feet Mom.  They look like the feet of a 4 year old!"  I also wrote down something awesome Pacey, my 5 year old, carefully relayed to me.  I can't recall what it was though, and now I will never get it back.   I left my journal in the hotel room somehow (even after a scan of the entire room) and it has not been returned, found, replaced, anything.  I am absolutely crushed.

There are two things that disappoint me tremendously in my life.  The first is that I will never know about my own childhood.  The funny things I said, the crazy things I did, the way I empathized with others, the awful things I did, or how I got along with my father, who died suddenly of a brain aneurysm when I was just five years old.  The second disappointment is that I didn't get to share life with my mother after I became a mother.  Like many other mothers, I had no idea what life was all about until I had kids.  Only then did I start to wonder about my experiences as a child, and more importantly wonder about my mom's experiences as my mother.  I prayed that my mom left a long letter for me when she died at the age of 58, succumbing to the ferocious pancreatic cancer.  But my mom wasn't a writer.  I once found a journal she started after I moved away from home (I was the youngest, and the last to leave).  There were 2 entries, each one sentence long.

But I am a writer.  So my gift to my children is to always keep a record of their lives.  Nothing big, nothing even consistent, but something.   I try not to put pressure on myself because I think that makes a journal less genuine, the entries not as warm and spontaneous.  Inside my lost journal are the struggles as a family that desperately misses maternal grandparents.  Inside my lost journal are my struggles to keep it together when I really wanted to just give up.  Inside my lost journal are the funny things my children said in the most formative years of their lives, the profound ways they care for each other, and the surprising ways they have cared for me when I needed it most.  Inside my lost journal are many conversations I had with my mom, if only on pen and paper.  Inside my lost journal are many "Goodnight Mom, I love you and I miss you."

Why would somebody want to keep another person's journal?  Surely you can enjoy the read and return it?  Definitely the most saddening Gap of all.

So many options!

My words will be few.  I'm exhausted from all the template changes I just made!  Colours, gadgets, feeds, other blogs, adding, fixing, swearing, doubting.... but it looks cool! 

One quickie for today.  My friend Michelle shared a very cool website with me.  I'd say it's for women primarily, there are some really neat things to see and read.  A time waster for sure, but I took away some cool ideas for my creative energy.  Site is http://pinterest.com/ .  Ok, now I take that back about being just for women.  Apparently I missed the fact that you can view by category, of which there are many!  Looks like you have to ASK to join too....nothing like creating anticipation!

Why the Gap?  To energize the creative brain cells in new ways.  This small change in my template is more rewarding than you will every know!

Surely I can't be alone.

When I think of myself as a consumer, I consider myself part of a lucrative target audience.  My kids are out of the toddler stage so I actually have some resemblance of a social life again, I am re-discovering who I am, carving out some high-quality BFF time, and I have a decent amount of disposable income.  Basically I'm no longer cocooned in my house with 3 kids under the age of five.  Plus, since I've chosen a professional career in marketing, I tend to pay dedicated attention to the 'details' in the marketplace.  I open my senses to the traditional marketing and advertising clutter that many people try hard to avoid, inviting learning and observing opportunities whenever I can.  I know you may be laughing since I have admittedly avoided the new social media world.  I'll add some clarification then to my previous statement.  I have always invited the traditional channels into my personal space.  I'm slowly expanding my invitation, albeit with a few reservations. 

What frustrates me though, is the risk I feel many companies take by dumping all their marketing eggs into one shiny new basket, and forgetting the hand woven, traditional, perfectly capable, original basket.  There's got to be many others like myself who represent a great target audience, and yet have not spent a day on Facebook or LinkedIn, or the many others that I am probably embarrassing myself by not mentioning.    I suppose if I truly wanted this blog to attract more of MY target audience, I'd have to print it and send it by mail in a beautiful greeting card.   People like me LOVE getting pretty greeting cards in the mail because they are personal, beautiful, and have the power to put me in a comfy chair with warm thoughts and a pen to return the favour to a host of deserving people.

My remaining question:  Is it ok for a company to say 'no' to social media?

Why the Gap? To find out if I am a target market of one. 

Smell the meal in the kitchen.

As my best friend so pleasantly reminded me tonight, I have already broke my commitment to blog once a week.  Funny thing is, I thought about it last night for a brief second.  Then I forgot about it.  Then I received the email, "I'm waiting..."  So even though I really want to go to bed, I am going to wind up my brain to put together something half decent. 

Let's not kid anybody, my Gap is for learning more than just social media.  I went back to avoiding social media last week and managed just swell.  Sure I missed several posts to my facebook page regarding Glee and New Girl (I have them on my tv list), but since I've lost interest in Glee (seriously, what's with the writing - one week is fantastic and the next week painful enough to turn off half way through) and didn't notice that New Girl hadn't been on (I love that new show, just been busy), I really didn't miss a golden nugget of info.  So the truth is, while I am committed to make sure I build on my talents, I am also enjoying the slower pace of life while it lasts.

For the the past year and a half, my husband and I would describe our home life as a gong show.  Both working full time, one travelling, kids scattered all around the community on various days for daycare (how many times did I turn down the wrong street, forgetting where my kids were that day), coaching for kids sports, etc, etc.  Really no different than zillions of other families out there.   It was doable, but obviously something gives, and in our case, it was my down time.  I didn't have down time.  When my husband said he was going to bed at 10:00, he went to bed at 10:00.  When I said I was going to bed early, it meant before midnight.  All that stuff needs to be done at night, or on a work lunch hour.   Longing for days at home when I could "get stuff done,"  I now have that time, and then some.  And my revelation?  Stuff never gets done. More stuff happens. (I really wanted to use a different word for 'stuff' that starts with 's' and ends with 't', but I didn't know if that was appropriate.   I suppose it could be appropriate considering I can officially say whatever I want to say, but I'm going to take the high road :)

So my Gap is also to enjoy time to smell the roses so to speak.  Or smell the REAL meal cooking in the kitchen.  Although I will admit that one frozen dinner takes up a lot less dishes than a yummy healthy one.  The other day, I did a few loads of laundry AND put it away the SAME day - now that deserves a Nobel Prize!!!

Satisfied Michelle?

Why the Gap?  Why NOT!!!